Oct. 1981 Vol. 43 Num. 6 - All In A Woman's Day
by Janice Gosnell Franzen, Executive Editor, Christian Life - The Guide To Better Living
Interview with Shirley W. Mitchell -"Being A Queen Is Fun!"
The Lord has taught me that my husband Jack is king of our home," Shirley Mitchell told me recently. "And when I treat him like a king, he makes me his queen.
"Wow! Being a queen is fun!"
Shirley, 42, mother of three, is married to the president and co-owner of a wholesale grocery corporation in Albertville, Ala. Several years ago, I was introduced to her at a Christian Writers Institute Conference and Workshop. Then, last week, I received an autographed copy of her new book, The Beauty of Being God's Woman. I got in touch with her immediately.
"I'm intrigued that you not only have authored a book," I told her, "but that you also conduct seminars for women."
"The book is really the outgrowth of my seminars," she said, "and of your CWI conference where I learned to write a query letter.
When I wanted to contact a publisher, I just followed your instructions."
The company she contacted was Strode Publishers, specialists in sports books. "But my query hit the president at the very time he was seriously considering getting into inspirational books. 'If you'll buy 1,000, I'll take 300 and test the market,' he said." She did - and they soon will be going into a second printing.
"In my book, I tell Christian women that they should be the most beautiful, exciting women in the world," she said. "But not every Christian woman is beautiful and exciting, even though she could be." Shirley knows this through experience. "Until I was 33, I lived a life that was not Christ-centered, even though I truly loved Jesus," she said. "I was active in my Baptist church, but my life was flat. I felt pushed around by people and circumstances. "Now that Christ is the center of my life, I have joy bubbling up in me like an artesian well. He makes me fun-loving, aglow - filled with peace." A beautiful woman radiates peace, she emphasized. "Think of the beautiful women you know. They're relaxed, calm, charming. Have you ever thought a woman was beautiful when she was wrought up, tense, fidgety, restless or nervous? Fear takes away beauty." A beautiful woman also radiates love, she said. And love helps a husband feel like a king. "If you do not try to change your husband, and if you love him without reservation just as God has created him, he will respond to you," she said.
Three Bible verses helped mold her life and marriage - Ephesians 5:22-24. "The Lord revealed to me through the power of the Holy Spirit that the key phrase in that passage is to be subject to our husbands in everything," she explained. "I had to accept that. I'm no doormat. I'm very much my own person. However, I acknowledge that Jack is my God-given authority, protector, provider, lover, sweetheart and friend."
When there is a point of disagreement, Shirley gives Jack her views, opinions and/or beliefs. But Jack has the final decision. When he makes it, she stands with him. This sets her free from much anxiety.
"God is the author of order." she said. So she prays that God will give Jack wisdom and believes that God will work through him if she stays in her proper role as his helpmeet. "I'm not my husband's mother - I'm his sweetheart," she said. "I was so relieved when I learned that God did not give me the job of training or correcting my husband."
Shirley and Jack have at least one date a week, because "we need that time to be alone - to communicate." Sometimes they go to dinner at a local restaurant. Other times they go out of town overnight.
What happens when her husband does something of which she disapproves?
"Jack is accountable to God, not to me," she said. "I could show nonacceptance through a gesture, words, withdrawal or a stiffening. But I believe that would show self-righteousness. He'd think, 'She doesn't like me. She wants me to be different.' That would tear him down. "I believe that I can help Jack be his best by being proud of him, by telling him how I feel, by complimenting him on the things I respect about him.
"The Lord is teaching me never to say unkind things about Jack. He is teaching me to accentuate the positive. Do you know the result? Jack is praising me!"
How does she handle the fact that Jack's business brings him in contact with attractive professional women?
"I've learned to keep my hair sparkling clean; to wear clothes that are in good taste," she said. "I try to be especially tender, gentle and well-groomed before he leaves for work in the morning. And I often wear soft, flowing, clingy clothes that he loves to touch.
"I think every Christian woman should remember the way she treated her husband when they were dating. She probably sat close to him in the car, held hands, put her head on his shoulder when they were watching TV. She should keep doing those things."
Shirley also enjoys writing little "love notes" to Jack. She puts these in his pockets when he goes on a trip; or in his lunch bag if he decides not to eat out. She also tries to make her home a comfortable one.
"Men usually prefer a rustic look over a frilly one," she said. "And if a husband wants to display his prized stuffed deer head, we shouldn't discourage him - even if the den is small. A husband's feelings are much more important than the appearance of a room."
It isn't always easy to keep the right priorities - God, husband, children, home, career—she said. It takes a super woman to be a wife, mother, dietitian, cleaning lady, and all the rest.
"That's why I'm glad I have faith in a supernatural God," she said.
***Update - Janice Gosnell Franzen is the Founder of the Janice Gosnell Franzen Endowed Scholarship Fund and a Wheaton Associate***
Oct. 1981 Vol. 43 Num. 6 - All In A Woman's Day
